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It seems that lately there are a lot of articles and opinion pieces about inter-racial couples. As half of one myself, I wonder why we like to analyse these relationships in a way we don’t when both people have the same skin colour.
According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), the 2011 Census shows that one in 10 people living in England or Wales is married to, or co-habiting with, someone from a different racial background. This is an increase of 7% since the last Census in 2001. The Census also discovered that people from mixed race backgrounds were more likely to be in an inter-ethnic relationship than anyone else.
Disapproval
Years ago it was positively frowned upon to be in a relationship with someone outside your ethnic group. Inter-racial marriages were banned in many States of the USA until 1967. It remains an issue for many people today – a quick trawl of the internet will reveal any number of discussions about why black men date white women and what different people think about this.
But why do we even notice when we see two people with different coloured skin together? Most people in inter-racial relationships don’t think about it on a daily basis, they are just getting on with their lives with the person they love. It can come as a shock when people ask you well-meaning questions about your inter-racial relationship, as you tend to forget any ‘differences’. I don’t wake up in the morning and notice that my husband’s skin is darker that mine. Even though we respect each other’s backgrounds, he is just him – one half of us.
Race vs culture
We’re all hung up on appearances; but what we don’t always consider is that two people can have the same skin colour yet be in an inter-racial relationship. For example, a white British person and a white Polish person, a black African and a black Jamaican, a Pakistani and an Indian, a Nigerian and a Ghanaian.
Below the surface, the cultural differences between people who may appear similar can be much deeper than, say, those between a white British woman and a black British man. If you’ve grown up in the same culture, you will probably speak the same cultural language – regardless of whether or not you have different racial backgrounds. But when you date, live with or marry someone of a different culture, you almost have to learn a new cultural language. It is likely that a black and a white Londoner will be more similar than a black African from Rwanda and one from Ivory Coast – who are likely to have cultural, traditional and tribal differences to negotiate.
Family expectations
Sometimes, it can be trickier to manage expectations of parents and in-laws, who may have different beliefs to both of you when it comes to bringing up children, marriage and where and how you live.
On the other hand, your inter-racial relationship may be working perfectly well but friends or family members might wrongly assume that you have a culture clash. What if you love learning about your wife’s Scottish roots or teaching yourself to cook your boyfriend’s favourite dish from Cameroon? Maybe you are fed up with people asking about your cultural differences and things that have gone wrong.
Multicultural future
Britain is becoming more multicultural, especially in the big cities, and London is one of the most diverse places on the planet.
In the future, more and more people are going to be in inter-racial relationships and more children will be mixed race. Isn’t it time we looked past race and enjoyed each other’s different cultures, beliefs and backgrounds?
What do you think? Email Mambo with your views on inter-racial relationships.
Source: The Best of Both Worlds?
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